Although having known this most of my life, it has become abundantly clear to me over the past couple of weeks that words are extremely powerful tools...weapons too often...but also the source of hope, inspiration, encouragement, and love. But alone, they are simply that...words...lifeless unless accompanied by some type of action.
Words we share with others help to clarify our own thoughts and feelings, but also do the same thing for their recipients. Pretty obvious concept, right? But how many of us are careless with our words, giving no thought to how they may in fact impact others? Lately, I have often found myself in this situation.
Over the years, I have learned to measure and weigh my words in the work place, with family members, and even with friends, but once in awhile, in a very human way, I slip up...say something inappropriate...maybe I go too far with a joke or with my opinion on a given situation and I end up hurting those I care for and love....
In an effort to right the wrong, or do damage control, I always revert to attempting to express what I think my true feelings or intentions might be, but sometimes it takes more than that. Even those two words that are so difficult for many to utter, "I'm sorry," mean nothing when there is no change in action--no clear demonstration that others can take stock in your words. It is in these moments that I realize words alone, although very powerful indeed, are not enough....action must be present for words to be taken seriously. I often talk about craving authenticity and appreciating action, so honestly these reflections go hand-in hand with who I am. Now I just have to remind myself to always act in this way...somehow become super-human! (haha)
So, here's my dilemma....are my "over-the-top, sarcastic or coy" words really careless, or are they a "safe" way, an "easy" way for me to express some kind of truth that might be too hard to express or act upon otherwise? Sooner or later, time will reveal the truth behind these comments, remarks, attitudes, etc. and when it does, I better be ready to act so that I can remain as authentic as I believe myself to be!
I think I might have to come back to this post for some after thoughts...but I want to leave it as raw as I am experiencing it right now....no hidden meaning behind those words at all!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Time goes by!
I absolutely, positively cannot believe it is April 1st! I cannot say where the last month has gone! March flew by....so busy I could barely keep my head afloat...I also got very sick in the midst of my craziness which actually complicated matters!
Taxes, fundraising, interviewing, prepping for China, work craziness....the list is endless of all that I have on my plate right now! But even with all that I have, I have managed to find some time for myself....working out, getting hair done, meeting up with others for drinks, AND I even went out with my husband last night...alone...imagine that!
It has been an intense month for me emotionally. I am struggling with doing too much and feeling a bit like a loner on an island. I have reached peace with the fact that my most intimate relationship feels a bit stuck....both of us just fighting to survive as well as we can as individuals...working for what we have in common...our children...and leaving the rest at bay for the moment...
Work has challenged me as well. I have told many that I feel like I'm on one of the few life boats of the Titanic as I watch the massive ship go under! In the near distance a cruise liner is going by and calling my name, so I am faced with a moral dilemma...do I stay on the lifeboat and help row it to shore, or do I jump on the cruise ship and enjoy the peace and tranquility offered by a well functioning ship?
Amidst all of this havoc, confusion and struggle, however, I have also experienced some true moments of bliss. As an educator you always wonder how much impact you have on the children you touch. Sometimes former students stop by to say hi and say thanks, but those moments are usually brief and fleeting. Rare are the occasions that people go out of their way to share with you just how much you impacted their decisions, life paths, choices, etc. Well I was fortunate this month to have been the recipient of such a gesture. A student that I taught 12 years ago found me...we talked, met for drinks and have even begun a new friendship! Such validation...such feeling of appreciation...and all this on the heels of me doing the same thing with a former teacher of my own just a short time ago!
I do believe everything in our lives happens for a reason. I do believe that often times we focus far too much on our challenges and far too little on our achievements. I believe that when life hits you hard and makes you run, the universe sends you something to remind you of the importance of all you do. For me a former student came into my life for that reason, and she, in addition to so many other things that have transpired this past month, makes me realize that at the end of the day I do make a difference...and how fast time goes is simply irrelevant!
Taxes, fundraising, interviewing, prepping for China, work craziness....the list is endless of all that I have on my plate right now! But even with all that I have, I have managed to find some time for myself....working out, getting hair done, meeting up with others for drinks, AND I even went out with my husband last night...alone...imagine that!
It has been an intense month for me emotionally. I am struggling with doing too much and feeling a bit like a loner on an island. I have reached peace with the fact that my most intimate relationship feels a bit stuck....both of us just fighting to survive as well as we can as individuals...working for what we have in common...our children...and leaving the rest at bay for the moment...
Work has challenged me as well. I have told many that I feel like I'm on one of the few life boats of the Titanic as I watch the massive ship go under! In the near distance a cruise liner is going by and calling my name, so I am faced with a moral dilemma...do I stay on the lifeboat and help row it to shore, or do I jump on the cruise ship and enjoy the peace and tranquility offered by a well functioning ship?
Amidst all of this havoc, confusion and struggle, however, I have also experienced some true moments of bliss. As an educator you always wonder how much impact you have on the children you touch. Sometimes former students stop by to say hi and say thanks, but those moments are usually brief and fleeting. Rare are the occasions that people go out of their way to share with you just how much you impacted their decisions, life paths, choices, etc. Well I was fortunate this month to have been the recipient of such a gesture. A student that I taught 12 years ago found me...we talked, met for drinks and have even begun a new friendship! Such validation...such feeling of appreciation...and all this on the heels of me doing the same thing with a former teacher of my own just a short time ago!
I do believe everything in our lives happens for a reason. I do believe that often times we focus far too much on our challenges and far too little on our achievements. I believe that when life hits you hard and makes you run, the universe sends you something to remind you of the importance of all you do. For me a former student came into my life for that reason, and she, in addition to so many other things that have transpired this past month, makes me realize that at the end of the day I do make a difference...and how fast time goes is simply irrelevant!
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