Change....taking Obama's charge to heart

It's a funny thing how the universe seems to be working right now...with every day that passes I become more and more convinced in the power of energies that flow amongst us and play out in the activities that we call life. We do get what we put out there....what we intend...what we focus on...it's no joke! Back in college one of my roommates always seemed to make things work for her..."wow! she's lucky" we all thought....but now I look back and have figured out that she simply has always lived life intending purposefully...placing her true desires into the universe and then stepping aside to let them play out...She got "the Secret" long before it was ever a popular book/movie/philosophy, etc. Not sure where she learned that behavior, but I'm glad I was exposed to it back then because I can now use it as a reference in much that I do today...

Over the last 1 1/2, I have been placing the desire to change into the universe...I got on the Obama bandwagon during the latter part of the campaign for the same reason...change is necessary--not always easy or pleasant--but nevertheless necessary. So I began to place my desire for self fulfillment and a happier existence into the universe....I wanted happiness in the workplace...in my relationships with family and friends...and in my marriage...Well, like I said...I've been putting it out there, and now I realize that the universe heard me loud and clear and has been working it's magic to change my life to meet my intentions...

My new job is evidence of this. Yes, I have worked hard to achieve all that I have, but the way in which this job came to me has left me feeling very much an instrument of the forces of the universe...it simply all arranged itself in a way that still amazes me...nothing could get in the way of this job for me...and so I simply did not question the path before me and followed through, intending the best outcome at all times...

My relationships have taken a similar path...especially over the past 8 months. I intended to reconnect with old friends; I intended to create time and space for myself in my hectic life---something I had lost sight of for many years; I intended to allow myself happiness in relationships that offered me support without feeling guilty about the time needed to foster these relationships--knowing that time away from my family in the efforts to create a more centered, fulfilled self, was not negative at all--embracing the idea that "selfishness" can be healthy. This was a very important change for me because I always desired to see my mom as an independent woman, with likes, dislikes and activities outside of us her children. That's the kind of woman I want my daughter to have as a role model--a healthy, well-rounded individual who never loses sight of herself. That is the woman I believe I am becoming. Sometimes I have to take baby steps to get there, but I know I am on the right path...

My marriage is also undergoing change, and I'm not sure about where it is headed to be honest. I feel connected to our past, but not certain of our future. I have intended for it to be more authentic, more supportive and, more balanced if possible, but I continue on the path of discovery about the changes that I am undergoing in this arena. I have learned to respect the powerful of intentions, so I must attempt to clarify for myself what I intend for this part of my life because once I put it out there, the universe starts its magic!

So, yes Mr. Obama, change is the order of the day, and not just with the economy or world affairs. My change comes from within as does everyone's, so maybe we all just need to be more purposeful in what we intend to truly start the ball rolling down the path on which we want to travel!

Left without words

Funny thing....some of my lasts posts have been dedicated to the meaning of words and ideas...the importance of converting words into action...making the actions count, and as I write this I am so overwhelmed by emotion that I feel left without words....

So much as transpired in the last month....the fundraising efforts for our trip to China have been tremendous and extremely successful! We have surpassed our goal to cover the costs of treatments and are SOOOOOOOOOOOOO grateful to all the generous people in our lives that have supported our efforts!

I finished interviewing for and was offered a new job as Director of Instructional Equity for Farmington Public Schools. I have accepted the position, leaving behind 12 years in Detroit...with my wonderful family at the Academy of the Americas....bittersweet actually...great amounts of sadness and happiness simultaneously....change is hard, but ultimately necessary for growth, so I must move on...

And then there is all that is going on with me personally...in my heart and in my head...feeling so clear about what I want in life, who I want to be, how I want to love and be loved, yet so frustrated about all the work it is going to take to get there....so wishing I could just be Sam from Bewitched right now...a small wiggle of the nose and all would change! When you have the possibility of true happiness before you yet you can't seems to fully embrace it, you're left feeling a bit paralyzed...and that's exactly where I find myself....frozen...unable to speak the words or take those definitive actions that would bring about the real change that I so crave...

I never imagined myself here...this far along in my life with all that should seem normal, familiar, and comfortable, thinking that I need to change....knowing that for my heart to be happy my head might have to make some very difficult decisions.......never in my wildest dreams did I see myself at these crossroads....

So I awake to these emotions today...nothing new actually...but with an acute sense of just how paralyzed I feel...left with the hope that I will gain some clarity over the next few months as to the words I must utter and actions I must take to attain inner peace...