Left without words

Funny thing....some of my lasts posts have been dedicated to the meaning of words and ideas...the importance of converting words into action...making the actions count, and as I write this I am so overwhelmed by emotion that I feel left without words....

So much as transpired in the last month....the fundraising efforts for our trip to China have been tremendous and extremely successful! We have surpassed our goal to cover the costs of treatments and are SOOOOOOOOOOOOO grateful to all the generous people in our lives that have supported our efforts!

I finished interviewing for and was offered a new job as Director of Instructional Equity for Farmington Public Schools. I have accepted the position, leaving behind 12 years in Detroit...with my wonderful family at the Academy of the Americas....bittersweet actually...great amounts of sadness and happiness simultaneously....change is hard, but ultimately necessary for growth, so I must move on...

And then there is all that is going on with me personally...in my heart and in my head...feeling so clear about what I want in life, who I want to be, how I want to love and be loved, yet so frustrated about all the work it is going to take to get there....so wishing I could just be Sam from Bewitched right now...a small wiggle of the nose and all would change! When you have the possibility of true happiness before you yet you can't seems to fully embrace it, you're left feeling a bit paralyzed...and that's exactly where I find myself....frozen...unable to speak the words or take those definitive actions that would bring about the real change that I so crave...

I never imagined myself here...this far along in my life with all that should seem normal, familiar, and comfortable, thinking that I need to change....knowing that for my heart to be happy my head might have to make some very difficult decisions.......never in my wildest dreams did I see myself at these crossroads....

So I awake to these emotions today...nothing new actually...but with an acute sense of just how paralyzed I feel...left with the hope that I will gain some clarity over the next few months as to the words I must utter and actions I must take to attain inner peace...