It's been quite a long time since I've entered anything on here. Most of you know that my summer was focused on China....a huge success...and settling into my new job....which is also fabulous! But today I have an overwhelming desire to write...to put my thoughts into words, perhaps in an attempt to gain more clarity about myself, my soul, my inner-most voice...
I feel like over the past couple of years I've been reeling....searching for answers...looking for the reasons "why"...I'm not sure I'm done searching, but I do feel that recently I've gained great clarity about who I am, and what I truly want in life....you'd think I might have had all that figured out as a married 35 year old woman with 2 kids...but that simply wasn't the case...
Life is truly a continuum of experiential learning...I don't think it was ever intended to be "figured out" completely....I think as healthy individuals we must intend to live and learn continuously...this is perhaps the greatest bit of clarity I have gained....gone are the notions that we should "settle in" and get comfy with life....when that happens we often die inside because we stop our growth continuum...I know I did...I stopped living and just functioned in what was a very secure, settled existence. But I have come to realize that my journey is nowhere near being over, and now I'm all about starting my life's momentum again...
Yet, I sit here writing this blog and feel simultaneously optimistic and sad...hopeful for brighter days ahead when I live fully and intentionally in all that I do...while also feeling a bit melancholy that many pieces of my life as it currently exists might in fact not be present in that future....it is a time of celebration and mourning....of laughter and tears....
I so want to share my journey...explain to those I love the most the answers I have found to my pursuit of "why" in so many aspects of my life...I am convinced that this self-expression is absolutely necessary for the momentum of my life to gain speed...to move along that continuum as I grow more and more each day...
I sincerely hope that soon I will gain the strength to do just that...to start taking those steps on the journey that lies ahead....a journey that will bring more clarity to me, my soul and my inner most voice with each passing day...
No comments:
Post a Comment