So on Tuesday and Wednesday of this week I had a mini vacation...some time just to let loose and have fun...and now I have returned to the realities of my life! I am a very busy woman who holds many titles and fills many roles for many people...that's it...nothing complicated! That small bite of free spirited fun was delicious, but its aftertaste has left a little bitterness in my mouth!
Last night I felt so depressed I was nearly in tears...about what, you may ask? Well, not quite sure...could be hormonal, but more likely than not it was feeling like my mid week escapade left me desiring more...more free time...less schedules...less responsibilities...more time to just be crazy! I know it's normal and that I'm not the only mom or parent out there who wishes they could return to their pre-children lives, but I even began to question last night if getting out is smart for me because the return to normalcy is such a downer! It felt so great to party, come in at a late hour, not go to work, not care for kids, not cook or clean, not be a slave to a schedule, go to a movie, etc., that the return to routine life has left me feeling sooooooooo unfulfilled! Now I know that it is healthy to get out...wonderful to let loose once in awhile, but I was thinking...damn, I want this all the time! To hell with my wonderful, stable life....to hell with my career and family! (HAHA) But, really....when I truly think about this topic for a minute I become sad that daily life is so serious all the time...If we all just laughed a little more, the routine would be more bearable...hey, maybe even enjoyable! I'm not going to dwell too much on this because I recognize it for what it is...I do in fact like my life, but I must say spicing it up like I did this week was much needed....now I just have to find a way to do that more often!
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Life is meant to be lived... not to merely exist in daily routines and schedules. Although, your displays of continued responsibility and commitment to your family provides a feeling that can not be measured. Displays which I look up to. Sometimes it is needed to "live" for Naomi and only Naomi. Outside of labels, titles, roles, and obligations. Be carefree, let go and let lose. Don't be so hard on yourself for embracing those moments. They come few and far between for you. I love you!
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