So for the past 3 years I have been big on the Law of Attraction...put out into the Universe what you want...envision it...believe it...feel it, and the Universe will take care of the details....you will attract to you what you most think about and desire.....
To that end, I have been purposeful in my intentions and have been very happy with how the Law of Attraction has worked in my life...but now the Universe seems to be SHOUTING at me...encouraging me to take action...to leave fears behind...to truly embrace my happiness and balance...to live life without fear....
Just here to say, "hey Universe...I hear you LOUD & CLEAR!"
Friday, January 22, 2010
Friday, December 4, 2009
...and the beat goes on....
So the other day at work, someone turned to me and asked if I knew anything about a colleague who had a stroke and has still not returned to work....I paused, responded that I had heard she was progressing, and then sighed....a big, loud sigh! This colleague was simply fine one day and gone the next...work kept going on; life here barely paused for her tragedy, and two months later her status seems like no more than an afterthought...SIGH...there it is again...the reality that the beat goes on with or without us really makes me ponder what life is all about....
I've been really transforming my life over the past couple of years, and I have heard countless times, when I have wondered out loud if my choices are correct ones, "life is short Naomi...you only live once Naomi..." and I can't tell you how those words resonated in my mind after pausing to respond about my colleague...
I love my new job, yet it doesn't consume me for I realize and place importance on ME and my life as much as I can...I can't say that was true when I worked in Detroit...my job often took a toll on the rest of my life...and especially on me...but that is no longer the case...I do all I do because I feel passionate about my work being a reflection of how I live my life...
I have, in fact, spent quite a bit of energy and effort over the last couple of years on making sure my life is about living every moment to its fullest...enjoying every day as much as I can, and placing my head on my pillow every night with as few regrets as possible...yet the pause in my response...and those RESONATING words really made me take stock once again....we only have this life to live ONCE...
I guess what I'm leading up to is that I feel I'm at another turning point in my life...at a point where I have to let those words resonate so I don't fall back into living simply by what's comfortable, more acceptable or easier for others....I have to stay focused on living MY life...being true to MYSELF...and making the most of every opportunity that comes my way if it is in line with my wants and desires...I don't want to be anyone else for anyone else except for who I am....life really is too short, and I can no longer live my life by what others hope for me or expect of me...
...I want the beat to go on....just need to follow the beat that resonates from inside of me..
I've been really transforming my life over the past couple of years, and I have heard countless times, when I have wondered out loud if my choices are correct ones, "life is short Naomi...you only live once Naomi..." and I can't tell you how those words resonated in my mind after pausing to respond about my colleague...
I love my new job, yet it doesn't consume me for I realize and place importance on ME and my life as much as I can...I can't say that was true when I worked in Detroit...my job often took a toll on the rest of my life...and especially on me...but that is no longer the case...I do all I do because I feel passionate about my work being a reflection of how I live my life...
I have, in fact, spent quite a bit of energy and effort over the last couple of years on making sure my life is about living every moment to its fullest...enjoying every day as much as I can, and placing my head on my pillow every night with as few regrets as possible...yet the pause in my response...and those RESONATING words really made me take stock once again....we only have this life to live ONCE...
I guess what I'm leading up to is that I feel I'm at another turning point in my life...at a point where I have to let those words resonate so I don't fall back into living simply by what's comfortable, more acceptable or easier for others....I have to stay focused on living MY life...being true to MYSELF...and making the most of every opportunity that comes my way if it is in line with my wants and desires...I don't want to be anyone else for anyone else except for who I am....life really is too short, and I can no longer live my life by what others hope for me or expect of me...
...I want the beat to go on....just need to follow the beat that resonates from inside of me..
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Clarity...so in reach...
It's been quite a long time since I've entered anything on here. Most of you know that my summer was focused on China....a huge success...and settling into my new job....which is also fabulous! But today I have an overwhelming desire to write...to put my thoughts into words, perhaps in an attempt to gain more clarity about myself, my soul, my inner-most voice...
I feel like over the past couple of years I've been reeling....searching for answers...looking for the reasons "why"...I'm not sure I'm done searching, but I do feel that recently I've gained great clarity about who I am, and what I truly want in life....you'd think I might have had all that figured out as a married 35 year old woman with 2 kids...but that simply wasn't the case...
Life is truly a continuum of experiential learning...I don't think it was ever intended to be "figured out" completely....I think as healthy individuals we must intend to live and learn continuously...this is perhaps the greatest bit of clarity I have gained....gone are the notions that we should "settle in" and get comfy with life....when that happens we often die inside because we stop our growth continuum...I know I did...I stopped living and just functioned in what was a very secure, settled existence. But I have come to realize that my journey is nowhere near being over, and now I'm all about starting my life's momentum again...
Yet, I sit here writing this blog and feel simultaneously optimistic and sad...hopeful for brighter days ahead when I live fully and intentionally in all that I do...while also feeling a bit melancholy that many pieces of my life as it currently exists might in fact not be present in that future....it is a time of celebration and mourning....of laughter and tears....
I so want to share my journey...explain to those I love the most the answers I have found to my pursuit of "why" in so many aspects of my life...I am convinced that this self-expression is absolutely necessary for the momentum of my life to gain speed...to move along that continuum as I grow more and more each day...
I sincerely hope that soon I will gain the strength to do just that...to start taking those steps on the journey that lies ahead....a journey that will bring more clarity to me, my soul and my inner most voice with each passing day...
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Change....taking Obama's charge to heart
It's a funny thing how the universe seems to be working right now...with every day that passes I become more and more convinced in the power of energies that flow amongst us and play out in the activities that we call life. We do get what we put out there....what we intend...what we focus on...it's no joke! Back in college one of my roommates always seemed to make things work for her..."wow! she's lucky" we all thought....but now I look back and have figured out that she simply has always lived life intending purposefully...placing her true desires into the universe and then stepping aside to let them play out...She got "the Secret" long before it was ever a popular book/movie/philosophy, etc. Not sure where she learned that behavior, but I'm glad I was exposed to it back then because I can now use it as a reference in much that I do today...
Over the last 1 1/2, I have been placing the desire to change into the universe...I got on the Obama bandwagon during the latter part of the campaign for the same reason...change is necessary--not always easy or pleasant--but nevertheless necessary. So I began to place my desire for self fulfillment and a happier existence into the universe....I wanted happiness in the workplace...in my relationships with family and friends...and in my marriage...Well, like I said...I've been putting it out there, and now I realize that the universe heard me loud and clear and has been working it's magic to change my life to meet my intentions...
My new job is evidence of this. Yes, I have worked hard to achieve all that I have, but the way in which this job came to me has left me feeling very much an instrument of the forces of the universe...it simply all arranged itself in a way that still amazes me...nothing could get in the way of this job for me...and so I simply did not question the path before me and followed through, intending the best outcome at all times...
My relationships have taken a similar path...especially over the past 8 months. I intended to reconnect with old friends; I intended to create time and space for myself in my hectic life---something I had lost sight of for many years; I intended to allow myself happiness in relationships that offered me support without feeling guilty about the time needed to foster these relationships--knowing that time away from my family in the efforts to create a more centered, fulfilled self, was not negative at all--embracing the idea that "selfishness" can be healthy. This was a very important change for me because I always desired to see my mom as an independent woman, with likes, dislikes and activities outside of us her children. That's the kind of woman I want my daughter to have as a role model--a healthy, well-rounded individual who never loses sight of herself. That is the woman I believe I am becoming. Sometimes I have to take baby steps to get there, but I know I am on the right path...
My marriage is also undergoing change, and I'm not sure about where it is headed to be honest. I feel connected to our past, but not certain of our future. I have intended for it to be more authentic, more supportive and, more balanced if possible, but I continue on the path of discovery about the changes that I am undergoing in this arena. I have learned to respect the powerful of intentions, so I must attempt to clarify for myself what I intend for this part of my life because once I put it out there, the universe starts its magic!
So, yes Mr. Obama, change is the order of the day, and not just with the economy or world affairs. My change comes from within as does everyone's, so maybe we all just need to be more purposeful in what we intend to truly start the ball rolling down the path on which we want to travel!
Over the last 1 1/2, I have been placing the desire to change into the universe...I got on the Obama bandwagon during the latter part of the campaign for the same reason...change is necessary--not always easy or pleasant--but nevertheless necessary. So I began to place my desire for self fulfillment and a happier existence into the universe....I wanted happiness in the workplace...in my relationships with family and friends...and in my marriage...Well, like I said...I've been putting it out there, and now I realize that the universe heard me loud and clear and has been working it's magic to change my life to meet my intentions...
My new job is evidence of this. Yes, I have worked hard to achieve all that I have, but the way in which this job came to me has left me feeling very much an instrument of the forces of the universe...it simply all arranged itself in a way that still amazes me...nothing could get in the way of this job for me...and so I simply did not question the path before me and followed through, intending the best outcome at all times...
My relationships have taken a similar path...especially over the past 8 months. I intended to reconnect with old friends; I intended to create time and space for myself in my hectic life---something I had lost sight of for many years; I intended to allow myself happiness in relationships that offered me support without feeling guilty about the time needed to foster these relationships--knowing that time away from my family in the efforts to create a more centered, fulfilled self, was not negative at all--embracing the idea that "selfishness" can be healthy. This was a very important change for me because I always desired to see my mom as an independent woman, with likes, dislikes and activities outside of us her children. That's the kind of woman I want my daughter to have as a role model--a healthy, well-rounded individual who never loses sight of herself. That is the woman I believe I am becoming. Sometimes I have to take baby steps to get there, but I know I am on the right path...
My marriage is also undergoing change, and I'm not sure about where it is headed to be honest. I feel connected to our past, but not certain of our future. I have intended for it to be more authentic, more supportive and, more balanced if possible, but I continue on the path of discovery about the changes that I am undergoing in this arena. I have learned to respect the powerful of intentions, so I must attempt to clarify for myself what I intend for this part of my life because once I put it out there, the universe starts its magic!
So, yes Mr. Obama, change is the order of the day, and not just with the economy or world affairs. My change comes from within as does everyone's, so maybe we all just need to be more purposeful in what we intend to truly start the ball rolling down the path on which we want to travel!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Left without words
Funny thing....some of my lasts posts have been dedicated to the meaning of words and ideas...the importance of converting words into action...making the actions count, and as I write this I am so overwhelmed by emotion that I feel left without words....
So much as transpired in the last month....the fundraising efforts for our trip to China have been tremendous and extremely successful! We have surpassed our goal to cover the costs of treatments and are SOOOOOOOOOOOOO grateful to all the generous people in our lives that have supported our efforts!
I finished interviewing for and was offered a new job as Director of Instructional Equity for Farmington Public Schools. I have accepted the position, leaving behind 12 years in Detroit...with my wonderful family at the Academy of the Americas....bittersweet actually...great amounts of sadness and happiness simultaneously....change is hard, but ultimately necessary for growth, so I must move on...
And then there is all that is going on with me personally...in my heart and in my head...feeling so clear about what I want in life, who I want to be, how I want to love and be loved, yet so frustrated about all the work it is going to take to get there....so wishing I could just be Sam from Bewitched right now...a small wiggle of the nose and all would change! When you have the possibility of true happiness before you yet you can't seems to fully embrace it, you're left feeling a bit paralyzed...and that's exactly where I find myself....frozen...unable to speak the words or take those definitive actions that would bring about the real change that I so crave...
I never imagined myself here...this far along in my life with all that should seem normal, familiar, and comfortable, thinking that I need to change....knowing that for my heart to be happy my head might have to make some very difficult decisions.......never in my wildest dreams did I see myself at these crossroads....
So I awake to these emotions today...nothing new actually...but with an acute sense of just how paralyzed I feel...left with the hope that I will gain some clarity over the next few months as to the words I must utter and actions I must take to attain inner peace...
So much as transpired in the last month....the fundraising efforts for our trip to China have been tremendous and extremely successful! We have surpassed our goal to cover the costs of treatments and are SOOOOOOOOOOOOO grateful to all the generous people in our lives that have supported our efforts!
I finished interviewing for and was offered a new job as Director of Instructional Equity for Farmington Public Schools. I have accepted the position, leaving behind 12 years in Detroit...with my wonderful family at the Academy of the Americas....bittersweet actually...great amounts of sadness and happiness simultaneously....change is hard, but ultimately necessary for growth, so I must move on...
And then there is all that is going on with me personally...in my heart and in my head...feeling so clear about what I want in life, who I want to be, how I want to love and be loved, yet so frustrated about all the work it is going to take to get there....so wishing I could just be Sam from Bewitched right now...a small wiggle of the nose and all would change! When you have the possibility of true happiness before you yet you can't seems to fully embrace it, you're left feeling a bit paralyzed...and that's exactly where I find myself....frozen...unable to speak the words or take those definitive actions that would bring about the real change that I so crave...
I never imagined myself here...this far along in my life with all that should seem normal, familiar, and comfortable, thinking that I need to change....knowing that for my heart to be happy my head might have to make some very difficult decisions.......never in my wildest dreams did I see myself at these crossroads....
So I awake to these emotions today...nothing new actually...but with an acute sense of just how paralyzed I feel...left with the hope that I will gain some clarity over the next few months as to the words I must utter and actions I must take to attain inner peace...
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Words
Although having known this most of my life, it has become abundantly clear to me over the past couple of weeks that words are extremely powerful tools...weapons too often...but also the source of hope, inspiration, encouragement, and love. But alone, they are simply that...words...lifeless unless accompanied by some type of action.
Words we share with others help to clarify our own thoughts and feelings, but also do the same thing for their recipients. Pretty obvious concept, right? But how many of us are careless with our words, giving no thought to how they may in fact impact others? Lately, I have often found myself in this situation.
Over the years, I have learned to measure and weigh my words in the work place, with family members, and even with friends, but once in awhile, in a very human way, I slip up...say something inappropriate...maybe I go too far with a joke or with my opinion on a given situation and I end up hurting those I care for and love....
In an effort to right the wrong, or do damage control, I always revert to attempting to express what I think my true feelings or intentions might be, but sometimes it takes more than that. Even those two words that are so difficult for many to utter, "I'm sorry," mean nothing when there is no change in action--no clear demonstration that others can take stock in your words. It is in these moments that I realize words alone, although very powerful indeed, are not enough....action must be present for words to be taken seriously. I often talk about craving authenticity and appreciating action, so honestly these reflections go hand-in hand with who I am. Now I just have to remind myself to always act in this way...somehow become super-human! (haha)
So, here's my dilemma....are my "over-the-top, sarcastic or coy" words really careless, or are they a "safe" way, an "easy" way for me to express some kind of truth that might be too hard to express or act upon otherwise? Sooner or later, time will reveal the truth behind these comments, remarks, attitudes, etc. and when it does, I better be ready to act so that I can remain as authentic as I believe myself to be!
I think I might have to come back to this post for some after thoughts...but I want to leave it as raw as I am experiencing it right now....no hidden meaning behind those words at all!
Words we share with others help to clarify our own thoughts and feelings, but also do the same thing for their recipients. Pretty obvious concept, right? But how many of us are careless with our words, giving no thought to how they may in fact impact others? Lately, I have often found myself in this situation.
Over the years, I have learned to measure and weigh my words in the work place, with family members, and even with friends, but once in awhile, in a very human way, I slip up...say something inappropriate...maybe I go too far with a joke or with my opinion on a given situation and I end up hurting those I care for and love....
In an effort to right the wrong, or do damage control, I always revert to attempting to express what I think my true feelings or intentions might be, but sometimes it takes more than that. Even those two words that are so difficult for many to utter, "I'm sorry," mean nothing when there is no change in action--no clear demonstration that others can take stock in your words. It is in these moments that I realize words alone, although very powerful indeed, are not enough....action must be present for words to be taken seriously. I often talk about craving authenticity and appreciating action, so honestly these reflections go hand-in hand with who I am. Now I just have to remind myself to always act in this way...somehow become super-human! (haha)
So, here's my dilemma....are my "over-the-top, sarcastic or coy" words really careless, or are they a "safe" way, an "easy" way for me to express some kind of truth that might be too hard to express or act upon otherwise? Sooner or later, time will reveal the truth behind these comments, remarks, attitudes, etc. and when it does, I better be ready to act so that I can remain as authentic as I believe myself to be!
I think I might have to come back to this post for some after thoughts...but I want to leave it as raw as I am experiencing it right now....no hidden meaning behind those words at all!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Time goes by!
I absolutely, positively cannot believe it is April 1st! I cannot say where the last month has gone! March flew by....so busy I could barely keep my head afloat...I also got very sick in the midst of my craziness which actually complicated matters!
Taxes, fundraising, interviewing, prepping for China, work craziness....the list is endless of all that I have on my plate right now! But even with all that I have, I have managed to find some time for myself....working out, getting hair done, meeting up with others for drinks, AND I even went out with my husband last night...alone...imagine that!
It has been an intense month for me emotionally. I am struggling with doing too much and feeling a bit like a loner on an island. I have reached peace with the fact that my most intimate relationship feels a bit stuck....both of us just fighting to survive as well as we can as individuals...working for what we have in common...our children...and leaving the rest at bay for the moment...
Work has challenged me as well. I have told many that I feel like I'm on one of the few life boats of the Titanic as I watch the massive ship go under! In the near distance a cruise liner is going by and calling my name, so I am faced with a moral dilemma...do I stay on the lifeboat and help row it to shore, or do I jump on the cruise ship and enjoy the peace and tranquility offered by a well functioning ship?
Amidst all of this havoc, confusion and struggle, however, I have also experienced some true moments of bliss. As an educator you always wonder how much impact you have on the children you touch. Sometimes former students stop by to say hi and say thanks, but those moments are usually brief and fleeting. Rare are the occasions that people go out of their way to share with you just how much you impacted their decisions, life paths, choices, etc. Well I was fortunate this month to have been the recipient of such a gesture. A student that I taught 12 years ago found me...we talked, met for drinks and have even begun a new friendship! Such validation...such feeling of appreciation...and all this on the heels of me doing the same thing with a former teacher of my own just a short time ago!
I do believe everything in our lives happens for a reason. I do believe that often times we focus far too much on our challenges and far too little on our achievements. I believe that when life hits you hard and makes you run, the universe sends you something to remind you of the importance of all you do. For me a former student came into my life for that reason, and she, in addition to so many other things that have transpired this past month, makes me realize that at the end of the day I do make a difference...and how fast time goes is simply irrelevant!
Taxes, fundraising, interviewing, prepping for China, work craziness....the list is endless of all that I have on my plate right now! But even with all that I have, I have managed to find some time for myself....working out, getting hair done, meeting up with others for drinks, AND I even went out with my husband last night...alone...imagine that!
It has been an intense month for me emotionally. I am struggling with doing too much and feeling a bit like a loner on an island. I have reached peace with the fact that my most intimate relationship feels a bit stuck....both of us just fighting to survive as well as we can as individuals...working for what we have in common...our children...and leaving the rest at bay for the moment...
Work has challenged me as well. I have told many that I feel like I'm on one of the few life boats of the Titanic as I watch the massive ship go under! In the near distance a cruise liner is going by and calling my name, so I am faced with a moral dilemma...do I stay on the lifeboat and help row it to shore, or do I jump on the cruise ship and enjoy the peace and tranquility offered by a well functioning ship?
Amidst all of this havoc, confusion and struggle, however, I have also experienced some true moments of bliss. As an educator you always wonder how much impact you have on the children you touch. Sometimes former students stop by to say hi and say thanks, but those moments are usually brief and fleeting. Rare are the occasions that people go out of their way to share with you just how much you impacted their decisions, life paths, choices, etc. Well I was fortunate this month to have been the recipient of such a gesture. A student that I taught 12 years ago found me...we talked, met for drinks and have even begun a new friendship! Such validation...such feeling of appreciation...and all this on the heels of me doing the same thing with a former teacher of my own just a short time ago!
I do believe everything in our lives happens for a reason. I do believe that often times we focus far too much on our challenges and far too little on our achievements. I believe that when life hits you hard and makes you run, the universe sends you something to remind you of the importance of all you do. For me a former student came into my life for that reason, and she, in addition to so many other things that have transpired this past month, makes me realize that at the end of the day I do make a difference...and how fast time goes is simply irrelevant!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
